Traditions and Transitions...

When my daughter was little we had so many Christmas traditions. We made ornaments together. We loved baking and decorating cookies. We always drove around to see the Christmas lights, and we always listened to the Billy Gilman Christmas CD. (It’s one of the best…look it up)

My mother started a tradition when I was a baby of giving me a new ornament every year so that when I grew up I’d have my own start. We kept that going with my daughter but went a step further. Everything on our tree is handmade or was a gift. We have spent many nights together with friends painting plaster and wooden ornaments. My husband sculpts some great sculpey ornaments and I paint them. And when we decorated the tree, Alyssa had to be the one to put the Christmas Spider on the branches near the top, in a place of honor.

 If you don't know the Legend of the Christmas Spider, here you go!






















A few years ago, I remarried and welcomed two more daughters into the family. They noticed right away how many ornaments had Alyssa’s name on them, so my husband and I began making new ornaments for all three girls. Each year brings a few new ornaments with Alyssa, Kayla, and Mich on them. Last year things began to change. My middle daughter moved away, taking all her ornaments with her. Though we still had the other two, we were no longer all together. The spider was gone. Her ornaments were gone. Her childhood was over.The shiny holiday had a dull film over it all.

This year Alyssa is back, but it isn’t the same. It changes when they move out. Even if they return it never goes back to the way it was before…for you or for them. I guess that is life and probably as it should be. They grow up and move out and start their own lives.




















This holiday season has been one of transition for me. We always made a big deal about decorating the tree. We brought out all the ornaments, played Christmas music, and drank hot chocolate. My husband would sit and watch the rest of us, but he would make jokes and get us all laughing. My youngest stepdaughter never really got into the decorating, but she would join us for the required amount of time. There was still a spirit of family and humorous acceptance of our parental cheesiness. This one was a bit of a disaster. My aunt left the room due to chaos and noise. One daughter thought the almost bare tree was fine. One sat with a group of friends and barely noticed what was happening. One said she had already done her part. And the spirit of family just wasn't there... We forced it, and that just does not work with adult children. Nobody enjoyed that. So that got me thinking of how to deal with all the changes.

 I miss my baby. I miss the excitement on Christmas morning. I miss the innocence. I miss the cookie decorating and having a child that was thrilled to make ornaments with her mommy. I am thankful. I am blessed. I know that. It is a time of change though. I'm having to learn new ways to do things. I was depressed at first and still have moments, but then I thought of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. 

I have had my time with young children and teenagers. Now it is time to have my time with young adults.

Hold your little ones close. They grow up WAY too fast!

And let me borrow your babies once in a while :)

Comments

  1. Heather this made me sad but also happy to know that you will move on and make new memories with these older children. A time for change!

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  2. I know how hiraeth feels :( !! Change can be good, but it can also be very sad. On another note, I'd never heard the spider story. I really enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete

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