Posts

Regrets...Part One

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Lately I've been thinking about regrets. Maybe it's because I'm halfway to ninety and life is going by quickly. Maybe I'm having a midlife crisis. Or maybe God is just moving. Regardless of the reasons, these are some things from my heart. 

Around ten years ago a great friend who had been with me through many years and some tough times got married. We had both been through breakups and supported one another through single parenting. I babysat for her preschoolers. She helped with my anxious teenager. We laughed (a lot) and sometimes cried together. 
Eventually she met a man that was perfect for her, and a decade later (give or take) they are still going strong. One of my biggest regrets is not going to their wedding. My excuse was illness, but the truth was more complicated. I would love to say it was my depression and anxiety, and that may have been a small part of it. However, when you strip it down the truth is ugly. I was jealous. In retrospect, I think she knew. Our…

Turning on the Faucet

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I've been thinking about writing a book for most of my life. It keeps changing in my head. Sometimes it is fiction. Sometimes it is a children's book. Sometimes it is Christian non-fiction. Sometimes it is so jumbled and strange it doesn't fit into a category...and this explains why I have yet to write a book! 

My brain is like a laptop with too many tabs open on the browser. There is so much going on it's hard for the processor to catch up. 

However, I think I finally have a direction for the moment. I recently decided that the only way to get there is to focus on one idea and finish it. This is easier said than done, as I am easily distracted. Some days I feel like I have so much to say, but once I sit down at the laptop my mind goes blank. Writer's block? Complete terror? I'm not sure, but it is frustrating. 

In an effort to force myself to write no matter what, I am setting a goal to write every day. I am putting it on the blog for my own form of accountabilit…

Traditions and Transitions...

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When my daughter was little we had so many Christmas traditions. We made ornaments together. We loved baking and decorating cookies. We always drove around to see the Christmas lights, and we always listened to the Billy Gilman Christmas CD. (It’s one of the best…look it up)

My mother started a tradition when I was a baby of giving me a new ornament every year so that when I grew up I’d have my own start. We kept that going with my daughter but went a step further. Everything on our tree is handmade or was a gift. We have spent many nights together with friends painting plaster and wooden ornaments. My husband sculpts some great sculpey ornaments and I paint them. And when we decorated the tree, Alyssa had to be the one to put the Christmas Spider on the branches near the top, in a place of honor.

 If you don't know the Legend of the Christmas Spider, here you go!






















A few years ago, I remarried and welcomed two more daughters into the family. They noticed right away how many ornam…

The "Gaps" in Childhood

**This is not exactly great writing...just my heart. Thanks for reading!**

As I was browsing Facebook I saw some pictures posted by a family I know. Looking at their happy faces, it made me think of the children I serve that live in poverty. I know that may seem strange, but education is a passion for me.

My mind drifted to the thirty-million word gap the majority of children in poverty bring with them to kindergarten.

Here's a good place to start if you are interested:

 https://www.aft.org/sites/default/files/periodicals/TheEarlyCatastrophe.pdf

I then began to think of all the other gaps with children in poverty, and the reality is that these gaps add up and end up more of an ocean.

There is an experience gap. Many children from lower socioeconomic backgrounds never leave their county. Put those children next to the ones who have been to the Grand Canyon and Disney and museums and various other places. One child may have been to Europe last summer, and the other watched cartoons.…

Tales from a Restroom Stall...

You know, it's funny how God works. Sometimes he can take the simplest moment to drive home a point.This is not very glamorous, but yesterday I went to the restroom as we all do. I glanced down to make sure there was toilet paper before doing the deed. This is something I have learned the hard way in the past.All was going as planned until that moment of tragic realization... though there was toilet paper, four squares would never be enough. If you have ever experienced the horror you will understand. To make matters worse, I did not bring my phone. I was on a school campus with a small staff. Without the ability to get up, I had a lot of time to think. I calculated the probability that someone would enter in a timely fashion, and it was a little discouraging to realize it might be an eternity before someone else entered and was able to assist. The restroom at this school is off in a dark corner of isolation. Ordinarily, I appreciate the location as it offers privacy. I now see an…

That Weird Kid

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Hello World

It's me. Yes, I am still alive.

I know it's been awhile.  I lost my heart for writing, but lately I feel it coming back.

It may take some baby steps...my confidence was shattered.

But I'm here.