Saturday, January 21, 2012

Twisted Television Tales

Once Upon a Time, there was a New Girl who was good,
Who found herself the victim of an unplanned Parenthood.
Mister Roger's Neighborhood would never be the same,
After living through the Cupcake Wars, she knew she wanted Fame.
She quickly packed The Office, and then forwarded her mail,
She hopped aboard The Love Boat, where she happily set sail.
The girl was a Survivor, and her child filled her with Glee.
She started Dancing with the Stars and promptly broke her knee.
Injured and alone, and needing help within a flash,
She called her good friend Merlin, and he conjured up some cash.
Satisfied with her new life, she bought herself some Cribs,
And then she got an Entourage, but found they told her fibs.
All the Pretty Little Liars, with their lip gloss and their hair,
Always chased after the Bachelor, and they didn't want to share.
And Unforgettable Blue Bloods, hunted evil Criminal Minds,
All utilizing CSI to analyze their finds.
The Mentalist would help his Friends by solving with his head,
Until he found the Lost Red John, who needed to be dead.
Springer fought with Maury and wound up in the ER,
With Taboo midget-prostitutes who vandalized a car.
Then Dance Moms brought their Toddlers and Tiaras to the stage,
Showing off their selfish brats just filled the crowd with rage.
They caught a ride with Heroes, who dropped them on Jersey Shore,
Where they Chopped and ate their Bizarre Foods but wanted so much more.
So they hitchhiked to the Cake Boss, and they begged him for some treats,
But Carlos want friendly, he refused their plea for sweets .
After working several Dirty Jobs and being thrown in jail
Judge Judy saw that they had changed and let them out on bail.
They ran into A Gifted Man, who let them ride along,
He said his name was Zak and then he sang a haunting song,
So they travelled far and had some Ghost Adventures on the way,
They met the Sons of Anarchy while rolling through LA.
Disappointed with celebrities, they knew just what to do!
So they jumped into the TARDIS and took off with Doctor Who.
This story is So Random, but there's a moral, never fear!
Television rots your brain and multiplies your rear!

And this is what happens when word nerds get bored...


  1. Heather I am laughing out loud! Girl you have had too much time on your hands! I hope you get well soon and back to some 'real world' life! hugs, Linda

    1. I'd love to tell you I'm perfectly normal when out in reality...but I'd be lying. ;)

  2. You are so good coming up with this type of verse. I like it. It made me laugh. Thanks for being you. Love ya, Aunt J

  3. You really have way too much time on your hands, child of mine. But it was great. Love ya, Mom