Rambling Out Loud

I almost didn't participate in the blog hop this week.  I struggle with depression, and today isn't great.  That's just the reason I figured I should go for it!  It may be short, but I will push through this.  I will at least share what God has showed me this week...     This book keeps touching me in many ways, but this part stopped me in my tracks.  It hit me so hard I actually had to go back and read it again....and tweet about it...and post about it on Facebook.  This is me, every second of every day.    I don't even know where to start: I like my house until I see how much nicer everyone else's is...and then I realize I'm not providing enough for my family. I am proud of my children, but when they make mistakes I feel like I wasn't a good enough parent. I love my lifegroup (small group at church), but I see how they all have more willpower and success and money than me...so I feel like a huge loser....

Then you will know that I am the Lord ; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.  Isaiah 49:23b I've decided that for this week's blog hop in  Proverb's 31 "A Confident Heart" Study , I will "unpack" Isaiah 49:23b.  See:  Verse Mapping   I considered all the other topics, but since doubt and depression are huge issues for me I didn't feel ready to write about them.  Maybe I will get there...f or now, Isaiah 49:23b.   The first thing I did was personalize... Then  Heather will know that I am the Lord; when Heather hopes in me she will not be disappointed. I need to remind myself that He speaks directly to me through His word.  Next I thought about the word "know".   It doesn't say Heather will speculate or guess or think...it says "know".  That is tough for me.  I want no doubts.  I want to be sure with everything in me that He is Lord and what He says is true.  Theoretically I get it...

Recently, God has convicted me that I need to spend much more time in His word.   The challenge is that I am not following someone else’s study. There is nothing wrong with studies led by others, and in the future I have no problem doing them.   But I have been convicted that God wants to speak to our hearts sometimes without being colored by another person’s opinion.   So I am praying and letting Him lead me in understanding. Why Ephesians?   I’m not really sure.   It may stem way back to youth camp.   The focus one summer was Ephesians.   It must have been powerful because I remember it, and there are actually very few things I remember vividly:   ·          Dawson (Noswad) McAllister and the snot jokes ·          Bright yellow t-shirts ·          Some cute guy at Devil’s Bathtub (It was a rock basin type thing...