Rambling Out Loud

When my daughter was little we had so many Christmas traditions. We made ornaments together. We loved baking and decorating cookies. We always drove around to see the Christmas lights, and we always listened to the Billy Gilman Christmas CD . (It’s one of the best…look it up) My mother started a tradition when I was a baby of giving me a new ornament every year so that when I grew up I’d have my own start. We kept that going with my daughter but went a step further. Everything on our tree is handmade or was a gift. We have spent many nights together with friends painting plaster and wooden ornaments. My husband sculpts some great sculpey ornaments and I paint them. And when we decorated the tree, Alyssa had to be the one to put the Christmas Spider on the branches near the top, in a place of honor.  If you don't know the Legend of the Christmas Spider, here you go! A few years ago, I remarried and welcomed two more daughters into the family. They noti...

**This is not exactly great writing...just my heart. Thanks for reading!** As I was browsing Facebook I saw some pictures posted by a family I know. Looking at their happy faces, it made me think of the children I serve that live in poverty. I know that may seem strange, but education is a passion for me. My mind drifted to the thirty-million word gap the majority of children in poverty bring with them to kindergarten. Here's a good place to start if you are interested:  https://www.aft.org/sites/default/files/periodicals/TheEarlyCatastrophe.pdf I then began to think of all the other gaps with children in poverty, and the reality is that these gaps add up and end up more of an ocean. There is an experience gap. Many children from lower socioeconomic backgrounds never leave their county. Put those children next to the ones who have been to the Grand Canyon and Disney and museums and various other places. One child may have been to Europe last summer, and the other watched...

You know, it's funny how God works. Sometimes he can take the simplest moment to drive home a point. This is not very glamorous, but yesterday I went to the restroom as we all do. I glanced down to make sure there was toilet paper before doing the deed. This is something I have learned the hard way in the past. All was going as planned until that moment of tragic realization... though there was toilet paper, four squares would never be enough. If you have ever experienced the horror you will understand. To make matters worse, I did not bring my phone. I was on a school campus with a small staff. Without the ability to get up, I had a lot of time to think. I calculated the probability that someone would enter in a timely fashion, and it was a little discouraging to realize it might be an eternity before someone else entered and was able to assist. The restroom at this school is off in a dark corner of isolation. Ordinarily, I appreciate the location as it offers privacy. I now s...

Everyone went to school with at least one weird kid. In third grade, the one that stands out for me was the girl who told everyone she was the princess of Saturn. Sadly, her planet was going through an intergalactic war, and she was sent to Earth for her safety. She missed her planet so much, but she was able to stay in touch with her people through the communicator hidden in her Holly Hobby lunchbox. Nobody else could see it though. It only worked for her. She put her jacket over her head after her ham and cheese to enter the zone.  The rest of the class loved the stories about Saturnia, her capitol city.   They longed to go with her to visit so they could see the beautiful rings and witness multiple moons. Her stories of the rocky horizon views were breathtaking. The palace sounded like such a magical place, and the advanced technology they used in their spacecrafts was mind-boggling. Her teenage brother was busy fighting the aggressors from Neptune. He loved ...

I've been working on learning photography the past couple of years.  Lately, I've been wondering what original art I could create with Photoshop.  Somewhere along the way, Alyssa (my daughter), was also bitten by the photography bug.  She took the picture, and the editing is mine.  I wanted to make sure and give her credit for an amazing shot to work with!  I had some too, but this was just the right "feel"...if that makes sense... Yes, it is rather dark.  No, I am not going to start sacrificing puppies to the gods of chaos.  I just happen to like fantasy and think this is incredibly cool. Oh and by the way, isn't Brittany beautiful?! (One of my stepdaughters)

I’m forty and have been wondering all my life where I fit into this world.    Never really a social butterfly, yet not quite an outcast…something of a loner who often still longs for the company of a friend…never popular but not really unpopular either…always looking for my niche but never belonging fully to any group… I am a wallflower.   I am a Hazel.   I am an observer in the world.   (If you got both of those references, I love you.   If not, read “Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky and “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green.   Seriously.   Do it.  I don't care that you are an adult and they are technically written for young adults.) But I don’t want to be an observer… I want to be an extrovert, always the life of the party.   I want to be the artistic soul who creates beautiful art and music and poetry. I want to be the intellectual everyone listens to for their sage wisdom. I want to make a mar...

This didn't go the way I thought it would.  I started this poem with a different goal in mind, but it ended up here.  It's a compilation of things people say to me in my depression before they walk away.  Eventually, most people do walk away.  Depression drains the victim, their family, and their friends.  It sucks for everyone.  Frustration Pray some more Try this pill Find your joy Must be God’s will Pick yourself up Just push through Make it happen It’s all on you Take a class Make a friend Distract yourself And it will end Fake a smile We all get sad Snap out of it Or I’ll get mad It never stops I can’t get through No matter what I say to you I have no words I see no end And so I walk away My friend